When Worcester parents divorce, they may feel like they have a responsibility to help their children adjust to the changes. Though this may be true, parents are urged to be careful how they help their children, and to be sure that they are not simply spoiling them. When one parent chooses to respond to the stress of divorce by purchasing gifts and extravagance for their children, the other parent may become alienated, which can affect quality parenting time. Parents may wish to consider such possibilities as they decide child custody issues while working out a divorce settlement.
Instead of becoming an emotional spender, parents are urged to consider a few tips to help them better understand overspending and emotional spending, and how badly it can affect their children. The first tip is for parents to consider what is normally spent on children including gifts, vacations, etc. While it is okay to splurge on something special to help children through the divorce process, parents who continue to overspend out of guilt, anxiety or a desire to impress may find that it only harms their relationship when the expectations cannot be continued later.
Parents also should consider how they spent money before the divorce. Considering the budget guidelines pre-divorce can help parents outline their budget post-divorce. Parents should be sure to discuss with one another how they are managing spending on the children, and should always be on the same page when it comes to educating children in the value of money. Children learn, after all, primarily from the example that their parents set.
Worcester parents going through a divorce may find it beneficial to seek the guidance of professionals who are skilled in working out budgets and finances, and all aspects of child custody. When parenting time is split between two households, there are two sets of circumstances that must be weighed before major decisions are made. That is why it may be beneficial for parents to communicate openly and honestly and through the right channels in order to ensure that the needs of the children come first. Those channels could include experienced family law practitioners who may smooth over the communication process as parents negotiate child custody matters during divorce.
Source: Huffington Post, "Spoiled? How Buying Your Kids Love During A Divorce Can Hurt Them And You," Suzanna de Baca, Oct. 26, 2012